Why Men Pull Away and How to Deal with It
When you learn about and understand fear of commitment (and some different ways to handle it) it will help you in your quest to find out why men pull away and how to deal with it.There are a number of reasons why men will sometimes withdraw from a relationship.
A lot of times it simply boils down to a fear of commitment.
Learning to understand this fear and learning some different ways to handle it, will help you in your quest to find out why men pull away and how to deal with it.
Just keep in mind, there are many other different reasons why men pull way.
Exercise Patience
Your boyfriend will not get over his fear of commitment overnight, so you should give him the time and space he needs to feel comfortable in your relationship. For example, cut back on the number of phone calls and dates that you make, in order to make him feel that he has his space. In fact, if you are secure enough in your relationship, you can make him miss you by not calling him for a day or two. Let him call you to ask what’s going on. If he does, then you know there is hope for your relationship since he at least cares enough to reach out to you.
Take Care of Your Own Needs First
One of the worst things that you can do is to be so focused on your relationship that you give up your friends and other outside interests. If he pulls away, then instead of reacting, go live your own life. If he sees that you are perfectly capable of living without him, he may get over his fear of commitment and come back. By pursuing your own interests, you also make yourself more appealing to him, since you’re showing that you can be independent rather than being possessive and clingy. One of men’s worst fears about relationships is that they will lose their personal space. You can help him get past that fear.
Open the Channels of Communication
If he’s willing to talk about why he is afraid of making a commitment, you should take the opportunity to raise the issue with him. You might be able to come to an understanding and strengthen your relationship. Keep in mind that communication is one of the essential skills for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Realize That His Fear of Commitment Is Not about You
If a guy is afraid of commitment, you should not take this personally since it is usually related to something traumatic in his past. For example, his parents may not have had a happy relationship, and he might be afraid that he will also end up in an unhappy relationship. He may also have had a bad relationship in the recent past and because of that, he is more careful about making a commitment. Be more understanding and don’t respond to his pulling away with anger or hurt feelings.
Stop Pressuring Him by Talking about Your Future Together
You may already be ready to get married at this point in your life, but your boyfriend may not. So don’t scare him away by constantly dropping hints about weddings and how your biological clock is starting to tick. One thing you can do is to stop referring to each other as ‘we’ and ‘us’ but as ‘you’ and ‘me’ since this may make him feel that he is not losing his independence in this relationship. Let him work things out on his own, but be there for him if he wants to talk.
Don’t Be Paranoid
The fact that he is pulling away does not necessarily mean that he is seeing another woman. So if he does not call for a while, don’t constantly text him or call him on his cell phone. This behavior is one of the most sure-fire ways to drive a man away.
Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away If You Have To
When you find yourself becoming too obsessed with getting a man to commit, or if it becomes clear that it’s never going to happen, then you should walk away because there is no future in your relationship. Even if you could convince him to commit, what kind of relationship would you have?
As you know, there are many reasons why men pull away and how to deal with it differs slightly from situation to situation, but most of the time it simply boils down to handle fear of commitment in men.